Goals and Good Friends

A commitment to health and wellness is enthusiastically embraced by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) where I work as the Resource Manager of Multicultural Affairs.  ASHA is frequently recognized for its award-winning workplace wellness programs.  Janet McNichol, ASHA's Director of Human Resources, plays a critical role in ASHA's wellness initiatives.  Many ASHA employees are about to embark on a nutritional program centered around the Sonoma Diet and Janet asked me, along with other ASHA-staff, to write guest posts for her blog.  Check out additional posts by Janet and other ASHA employees and friends at inside workplace wellness.

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Two years ago, I embarked on a series of slow and steady changes in my diet, my fitness, my lifestyle.  When I started, my goal was simple - lose weight, look better in my swimsuit come summer, find a pair of jeans that looked great.  And don't get me wrong, I still want most of those things, but in the last two years, the focus on my immediate goal of shedding a few pounds and finding a cute bikini shifted to a focus on health, personal growth, and improvement.  It continues to be a work in progress, an evolution.

After two years, I still struggle sometimes, but what I hope to provide here is some knowledge and insight as to how, through the ups and downs, I stay on track in the big picture.  I lean heavily on my personal goals and good friends to maintain focus and direction, and the two go hand in hand.

I make an effort to set goals that are a little bit scary, a little bit beyond my comfort zone – if the idea gives me goosebumps, I’m usually sold.  If you’re about to make a change in your lifestyle, I think having a goal, a reason for that change, is wise and motivating.  It can be your source of inspiration.  It doesn’t have to be a goal of an insurmountable magnitude, it just has to be important to you.  To me, a goal should be specific, measurable, and motivated by something of personal importance.

So, with goals in mind, good friends are often the sustenance that keeps you going.  As I have made changes over the last two years, I’ve recruited the support of friends and family, because let’s be real – no matter how committed I am to my goals, that piece of apple pie/chocolate shake/donut looks realllllly good, and I’m not infallible.  Sometimes I need a little bit of extra help!  At first, I was hesitant to seek that support and shared my efforts only with my best friend.  She had her reservations initially – my dietary changes meant fewer pizza and ice cream nights for us.  You’re going to encounter this in friends and family – hesitation, even resistance at times.  Change is hard, but if you can communicate the significance and importance of your goals and the changes needed to reach them, you’re more likely to meet a positive response than resistance.  “It always helps me to know your goals and why they matter.  As your best friend, I want you to cheat sometimes because it would be fun to eat a bunch of ice cream, but as your best friend, I want you to meet your goals more,” was the summation provided recently.  My goals give direction and power to my commitment and progress, they do the same for the commitment and support of my friends and family.  Recruit the support of someone in your life who can support you, someone who’s on your side when you lose sight of the “why” you’re doing this, someone that can refocus your attention and efforts on your goals.  The responsibility is ultimately yours, but it’s nice to know you have someone in your corner.

As I have made these transitions in the last two years, I have also taken advantage of the friends and family in my life that embrace a similar commitment to health and follow similar dietary and fitness patterns to mine – dinners together, recipe swaps, words of wisdom and encouragement, inspiration and motivation from their commitment and progress, and occasionally the proverbial “kick in the butt” when I need a less-gentle reminder to stay focused.  These people probably exist in your life too, so don’t be afraid to tap that resource – people are generally enthused about sharing their experiences and providing support!

A few friend-related tips I have found helpful:

1. Share your goals – recruit support from friends and family by communicating to them the significance in what you’re doing, why it’s important to you, and what they can do to help.  Be specific in identifying why this change is important and a few things that you might find helpful – “I’m really committed to eating healthy right now because I want to be able to start running two times a week by April 1,” and “Let’s get lunch at the Mediterranean Café next week instead of XXX.  It’s a lot easier for me to make healthy choices there, so it would be really helpful.”

2. Don’t hide from your social circle while you take on these changes - invite friends for dinner at your place and make a delicious and healthy meal!  Recipes abound on the internet and friends are often enthused about positive changes – you’ll recruit more support and might even inspire someone else to make a healthful change!  Not interested in cooking?  Meet out for dinner!  Scope out the menu first so you’re well prepared and know what your options are.

3. Swap recipes - find someone making the same lifestyle changes you are and swap recipes and tips.  New ideas ensure variety and keep the entire experience fun – which makes it a ton easier in my opinion to make this a true lifestyle shift, not just a challenge in the short-term!

4. Encourage someone else - with such a great program launching, many people will be embracing healthy changes.  Providing support and encouragement to others and showing enthusiasm for the efforts of a friend reminds me of my commitment to my goals.  It keeps me inspired.

5. Celebrate your progress – if your goal is to run three miles, celebrate with friends as you progress.  Identify milestones – running without stopping, running a mile, running two miles.  Celebrate your commitment, your efforts, and your progress with friends and family who are committed to your success!

Find a goal, find a friend, and get excited about the great changes you’re about to make in your life!

The next adventure...RAGNAR TRAIL ZION

A bit of radio silence as of late, but back at it with new energy and excitment today!

I've been busy enjoying the everyday adventures and rhythm of life in DC - but it was only a matter of time before an email that opened with "Hello friends and fellow adventurers..." found its way to my inbox.

The emailed-adventure takes a bit of a twist from the traditional Ragnar Relay, a 200-mile team relay from one city to another, by moving the venue out of city streets and into national parks, bringing together a bit of trail racing, group camping, bonfires and s'mores.  Hmmmm, Ragnar Trail...it was all very enticing.  It was also all in Utah at Zion National Park...appealing, but a good distance away from DC.  And I was already slotted to run a half marathon in just over 2 weeks...was I really up for another runinng adventure!?

Much number crunching followed to consider the finances, timeline, and my vacation leave and on and on.  I had many moments of hesitation, and even a handful of moments when I thought, "This is insane, I don't have time for this, this doesn't make sense, I can't do it!"  This was followed by the realizaiton that has struck me over and over...it will never make sense, the "right time" doesn't exist, and it's never going to work out to be the pefect opportunity.  Life's adventures and opportunities have to be sought out, they don't fall into your lap in perfect packages.   And so, after much indecision, some coaxing from friends, and a few phonecalls home to Mom and Dad VanDenHeuvel (always my go-to in the face of uncertaintity), I was convinced - how could I resist an adventure that pulled together all-night bonfires and s'mores, camping, and a relay race through Zion National Park!?  Besides - my trail running shoes have been collecting dust as of late, time to put them to use!  And did I mention that the Zion Ponderosa Ranch Resort, where Ragnar Village will be set-up for camping, has all-night hot-tubs and pools!?  With slides!?  As far as I can tell, I'm going to a camp for grown-ups (who like to run)!

I'll be racing with a relay team of 8 on three trails through Zion National Park.  Our team has experienced runners and Ragnar-veterans...I'm looking forward to their insight for training and can't wait to meet new friends and the adventures ahead!

Be and Be Better - Justin's Gifts to Us

This week marks one-year's time since the unexpected death of a friend - a dear friend and someone so integrated into my daily routine that even a year later I sense his absence everyday, a person so unique and kind and loved by so many that his friends, scattered around the world, have reached out in the previous 12 months to provide comfort and support and love to each other across continents and oceans, and across prior grievances and pride.

I wish there were words to explain Justin, to do him justice, but there simply are not - I could never do justice to what a kind person he was, his infectious smile and laugh, his loyalty, his honesty, his trustworthiness, his silliness, his charismatic personality, his ability to crack a joke or tease a friend to show that he cared, his incredible sense of adventure, his enthusiasm for life and all that it offers, or the way that this all came together in him.  Justin appealed to everyone, he left everyone he met feeling special.  "He made every group feel like they were the 'best friend' group in his life,” was the accurate assessment made by a friend.

And so with that in mind, it's no surprise that I have tried to start this post more than a dozen times.  I have sat down to collect my thoughts, laid my fingers to the keyboard...but nothing comes, or nothing adequate.

  

Much of the last year has left me sad and uncertain, but I know with every bit of my being that there is good to find here, there are gifts that Justin left us, and I so very much want to make sure they are given the emphasis that they deserve.

In the last year, in the midst of so much sadness and uncertaintity, I have also been filled with gratitude, awestruck to see Justin's friends come together, support each other, take care of friends known only through a connection to him.  In moments of joy and of sorrow, I have looked around rooms filled with friends and become acutely aware that without Justin, I would know so few of the people to whom I am now forever connected – climbing friends, crossfit friends, work friends, friends from eras of Justin's life before I ever knew him, his family.  Justin's death brought me face to face with a kindness and compassion from my own friends and family, spread near and far, that was overwhelming.

After the initial numbness of grief subsided, a dull and constant pain set in, but with time, that pain gave way to a new sense of purpose.  I felt compelled to seek adventures and to find peace where I could, and I have been supported, cheered for and pushed forward by not only my own family and friends, but also by Justin’s.  There is a power in knowing that these people understand this pain and loss and hurt in their hearts.  It can't be explained, they simply know.

One night this winter, Justin’s mom simply noted the truth, "Justin gave you people."  To all of you – to my family, to his family, to friends of Justin I've come to know only in the last year, to friends we shared and those that knew me long before I ever encountered the incredible joy of being Justin's friend - I am forever grateful for your support and love, near and far, in the middle of the night, in the middle of tears, in the middle of endless laughter and in moments filled with pain.

We all miss Justin, but I am grateful for this gift and for so many of you – Justin’s presence in my life has pushed me to do things I never thought I would or could.  The sentiment in the final words of Maya Angelou’s “When Great Trees Fall” has resonated with me with increasing intensity in the previous days and is a poem so many of us will forever connect to Justin…

“…They existed. They existed.


We can be. Be and be


better. For they existed.”

Justin proved to be an unassuming inspiration.  That inspiration remains now in each of you.  There is nothing about this hurting that I like or understand, but I know so very clearly that our mission now is to find peace, move forward with the gifts he gave, and be better.  Because of Justin, and because of all of you, I am a better person today and I will strive to be better, always.

Love to you, JC…we miss you more than you could ever know.

So, you’re thinking about an adventure vacation...

Huge thanks to Marco Adelfio for being so willing to share such a great shot!

My trip to Ecuador and adventures into the Andes were incredible – but came with lots and lots of planning, so I thought I’d share a few things to consider when planning your next big adventure.  Adventure vacations, while incredible (and with opportunities for amazing photos), are also filled with moments that are far from glamorous, the details that aren't often talked about - if you're looking for honest insight, you'll find it below.  All I can offer here are my own personal experiences, and hope that some bit of knowledge might be garnered by someone in the audience...

1. Make friends with someone at REI.  Find an employee that has experience in whatever type of adventure you’re about to take and ask a lot of questions. REI employees are a wealth of knowledge.  If you’re in the DC area and looking for insight from someone at REI in Bailey’s Crossroads, I’ve got the man for you!

2. Go basic on equipment – here, not everyone will agree.  And admittedly, the more fancy features you find on your jacket/pack/etc., the happier you’ll be, but here’s the catch...it’s hard to know which fancy features you’ll want and which you’ll find a waste of time and money.  Save your dollars until you know which features are important to you – in the meantime, go basic and borrow from friends when possible.  You can upgrade later!

3. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.  If you’re out of the country, it’s worth considering the risk of food poisoning when dining out on trips of this nature as well – when in doubt, stick to bottled water (and make sure the cap is sealed when it arrives).  Aside from helping to combat several downfalls of travel and physical exertion in a new environment, a little H20 goes a long way in helping to make your skin glow…and with all the pictures you’ll be taking, you’ll be happy to keep your skin looking healthy!

4. Speaking of skin…whether your find yourself on the top of a glacier or sunbathing near the sea, a sunburn never feels good and can put a serious damper on the remainder of your trip.  Buy UV protective clothing and load up on sunscreen so you can enjoy your fun, without peeling later!

5. You’re going to lose a toenail, puncture your hand/foot/leg with your crampon, hit yourself in the head with your ice axe, or suffer some other less-than-glamorous bodily injury.  Pack a first aid kit, hope you never need it, and know that you probably will.

6. Kiss your modesty goodbye, at least in the short term.  I’ll admit, I fell on a rather steep portion of the mountain while using the little-girls room on Chimborazo – hope you’re close with your team and that they’re as kind as mine!  Hopefully you’ll escape such an ordeal, but realistically speaking, at some point, you’re still going to have to use Mother Nature’s little-girls (or little-boys) room with significantly less privacy than you’d prefer (five feet of personal space became a luxury on my trip at some points).  I can’t personally speak to the power of a “Go Girl”, but I know it was a big hit with some ladies this trip.

7. For the female readers – let it suffice it to say that if you’re of childbearing age, there are certain hormonal and cyclical occurrences of the monthly variety to consider.  In this day and age, these issues can be medically managed and rescheduled for a more convenient time in your life.  I know, I know…you don’t like the idea of messing with your hormones, I get it, but it’s worth at least considering this one time.  Enough said.

8. Pack and plan for your own toiletries and meds.  Don’t assume you’ll be able to purchase necessary medications once you arrive.  I exhausted my family-sized bottle of Advil within one week in Ecuador and was unable to find a pharmacy that carried more.  If you’ll be outside the country, carry your own toilet paper and remember, there’s not enough hand-sanitizer in the world when you’re traveling. Make sure to purchase your own personal antibacterial hand-goop with a hook or clip for external-attaching to your backpack or bag.  It keeps it handy and avoids the dreaded “dig” through your entire pack when in a hurry!  Earplugs are invaluable if you’ll be sleeping in close-quarters with other adventurers.

9. Anticipate your expenses and start saving early – I’m a big fan of mint.com, but really any budgeting system will work.  My general recommendation?  Save more than you think you need.  A lot more than you think you need.  Trips and vacations of this nature get spendy and in a hurry.

10. Insurance – hopefully you’ll enjoy every vacation illness-free, but when you’re about to embark on an adventure, it’s best to be prepared!  Consider the location and associated risks with your impending trip – natural disasters, political stability, access to healthcare?  Don’t assume that your current health insurance will be sufficient – call to make sure!  In anticipation of my recent trip, I purchased a plan through Global Rescue for emergency evacuation and transportation and as supplemental coverage to my current health insurance.  For additional information related to insurance and healthcare coverage, I found "Ten Health Care Tips for Travel" from “inside workplace wellness” by Janet McNichol, Director of HR at the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association, to be particularly insightful.  Do your homework in advance - there are tons of options out there, find the one best suited to meet your needs.

By no means is this list all-encompassing, rather just a few of the take-away points from my recent adventure.  For additional reading regarding the fun we had, see jetsetination, written by Cynthia Lin, another climber and good friend from the expedition to Ecuador.